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04 February 2009 @ 06:07 pm
Monday was Corey's birthday.  After working out I watched the pilot episode of Twin Peaks with him and Anna, and then snuck away to join a group of people waiting to ambush him at Cascade Pizza.  Fun times.  Everybody went downtown to drink, but I was bushed from my busy Sunday and went home.  I was actually went to sleep around 10:30pm, which must be the first time I have slept before midnight in over a year.

Tuesday Brett left.  I took a long coffee break to meet him at the Drop and walk around in the sun for a bit.  I am going to go visit him in Austin, hopefully in March, and if not then, this summer.  I am gonna miss him a whole bunch.  I totally did not cry.

That night after work we had an iDiOM meeting to quickly go over the 2009-2010 budget and a few other things before meeting at the attorney's office to adopt the by-laws and adopt a banking resolution.  I am now officially on the Board of Directors of iDiOM Theater, in the position of Treasurer.  Neat.

After that I went home and kicked the kitchen's ass.  A pretty big mess had accumulated over the weekend, and I was feeling domestic.  I washed about a hundred thousand sinkfuls of dishes, cleaned the stove and cleared out some of the cupboards.  It felt really good.  TJ was all moved in when I got home.  He is going to be a great roommate.  I went to bed around 11pm, hoping to repeat Monday's early sleep, but instead I stayed up another hour writing in Livejournal.  This is okay.  It is a good habit, even these shopping-list type entries that probably no-one reads.

Today I went to get business cards printed towards the end of the day and nearly fell asleep at Kinko's.  (I would like to say here that Kinko's is one of the few places I am glad to have an ex working... or I guess that should really be that I'm glad that the ex who works at Kinko's and I still get along well...)  Then when I was leaving my office Star showed up.  She tried to pull the big pretty eyes routine and asked if I wanted to talk.  No, not really.  I was polite but walked away.  That felt good, I'm not gonna lie to ya...  If she tries again in a few more days or a week I will hear her out, but for now I am finding that maintaining no contact is helping me do the rest of the getting-over-it that I should have done a long time ago, and I want to let that run its course; I know that if I talk to her I will get mad and have to start all over again.

I came home, worked out, and showered.  About halfway through writing this entry, Corey called me downstairs; a process server was at the door with a lawsuit for me.  Those damn emergency room bills from last summer.  The ones for which I requested the Bridge program assistance forms several times without receiving them, after which I moved twice and did not receive invoices for a long time.  This is fine.  I have 20 days to draft a Notice of Appearance and serve it on the attorney, stating my defense.  I do not expect to get out of the bills; I will delay and perhaps get them reduced, but I got a large tax rebate this year and already earmarked some of the money to pay these bills.

Now Jeffrey and I are going to eat, drink, and watch a Western.  This is a good activity for a Wednesday evening.

Current Music: Black Mountain - Faulty Times
03 February 2009 @ 11:23 pm
Wednesday was the night I went out to Rumors for the first time in perhaps six months.  Perhaps a year, I'm not sure.  I enjoyed myself.  I went to sleep in my bed maybe around 1:30am, and was mystified to wake up at 5am about 15 feet across the room under a sleeping bag.

Thursday was the day the boss went home early and I took a long lunch break to hang out with one of my most favourite people ever.  I am glad that we seem to connect almost exactly like we always have.  I'm pretty sure that relationship is the kind that will still be there many, many years from now.  This is comforting to me.  

That night I went out with Brett for our last Cabinoke before he left town.  I sang 'Paint it Black' and "Love Me Two Times'.  Apparently I was in a sultry, big-haired Sixties rock icon kind of mood?

Friday I had lunch with someone I hung out with for about a month during autumn.  I don't really know what to say about that.  She is cute and fun and we're very... let's say just say compatible... but meh.  There's really no long-term potential there as far as I am concerned and I am kind of over sleeping with people I don't want to date.

That night I hung around with Brett for a while and then ended up staying in on my own. That was nice.

Saturday I had the babes for most of the day.  I did good.  Then I had to deal with their mother, with whom things are not good right now.  I decided that night that I needed to give myself a break from seeing her for a while, which I am doing.  It is going quite well, actually.  Getting more separation there is feeling very healthy right now.

I went to the Buff later and saw my good buddy Joe.  Joe was in Mexico with me last winter, and hasn't been in Bellingham much since then.  We like each other a whole bunch.  It was good to see him.  We are planning on playing music together now that he is back, just for fun.  I need to get a hold of the recordings we made in Mexico; they are great.

Later that night I got a call and went ahead and let the girl I'm not going to date come over.   This is fine and will not become a habit.

Sunday I got a lot done.  I picked Peter up and we set up Evan's Juno-106 in my room and recorded synth lines on a track for his soon-to-be-released album.  I love it.  Then I rehearsed with David and Aaron for David's show at the Underground on Friday.  That will be fun.  Then I went to yoga in Fairhaven.  I feel pretty good with everything upper body, and have trouble with some of the leg stuff - I feel like the muscles in my legs are super tight, but with stretching and practice that will get a lot better.  

After yoga I hung out with E&A and ate delicious food.  I love my friends.  And their food.
Current Music: Yeasayer - Wait For The Summer
29 January 2009 @ 09:44 am
John Martyn died today. My copy of his album Solid Air was in my CD player almost incessantly during my last year of high school and first (only) of college. Beautiful singer.

and your just like a good close sister me and you know that i love you true
you hold no blade to stab me in the back and i know that some do
won't you please won't you please won't you bear it in mind
love is a lesson to learn in our time
won't you please won't you please won't you bear it in mind for me

May you never lay your head down without a hand to hold
May you never make your bed out in the cold
27 January 2009 @ 10:21 pm
I do not understand people who are content to stay the same. I don't understand it at all. Life to me is constant challenge to change, to grow, to better one's self. Not to perfect one's self; that would imply that there is some point at which it is okay to stop. When I occasion to look backwards (which is probably not often enough) I want always to be able to honestly say that I am better, that I am stronger, that I am more at peace, that I am realizing more of my potential. I have an expansive nature, and the times that I have hated myself the most are the times I have found I am standing still, or - worse yet - sliding backwards; shrinking.

I will not make excuses for failure to grow. It is poison. When you give or accept reasons for not being better, you are making a reality for yourself. "It's how I was raised", "I'm just not that kind of person", "I already tried", "It's in my blood/genes"; these are all just variations on putting the remote control up on a shelf and saying you can't change the channel. You are robbing yourself of the power to improve your life, and robbing the rest of the world of the even-more-amazing person you could be. It is lazy and selfish and I am done with being lazy and selfish.

I will make myself stronger, and more loving; faster, and more conscious; I will grow in honesty, tact, health, and warmth. I will learn to enjoy my own company, and to be more attentive to the needs of others. I will learn to love unconditionally, without putting my happiness in the hands of others. I will empathize and sympathize and help where I can and act selflessly when called upon to give. I will learn to be communicative and responsive and demonstrative.

None of these will be easy to maintain, and I will get discouraged and backslide and give up like everyone else, but then I will get up and get back to work. If it was easy, it wouldn't be worth much, would it?

P.S. I will also be less dramatic and take myself less seriously, I swear to God. ;-)
Current Mood: resolute
27 January 2009 @ 07:40 pm
Delicious turkey sandwiches for the kids (spinach, provolone & colby, avocado), followed later by blueberry flax muffins and fresh fruit smoothies. Time now for Batman cartoons.
Current Mood: so domestic
Current Music: El Perro del Mar - Shake It Off | Powered by Last.fm
26 January 2009 @ 11:01 pm
Last week or two have been pretty showtastic - Kristen Allen-Zito and Yr Heart Breaks at the Underground, Love Lights at the Buff, the Shadies at Honeymoon, Mt. Eerie at the Underground again, Jenny Lewis(!) in the PAC Concert Hall, and the Narrows at the Rogue. This amount of being-out has become rare for me, but there have just been too many good things for me to resist.

There has also been a lot of ridiculously deeeelicious food recently: veggie curries with quinoa at home alone, the fanciest mac & cheese ever for the kids and myself, so-good yam enchiladas with a&k last night... I like eating. I should remember to do it more often.

I am generally feeling good about my body right now. Mostly my drinking is way under control (a couple raucous nights, but pretty much limited to weekends, and with plenty of declined drinking opportunities/excuses), and I smoke as rarely as ever. I did skip two of my three home workouts last week. :/ Disappointing, but I did this week's first tonight, on top of yoga class yesterday, so we'll just forgive that little lapse and not let it happen again...

I do have things to take care of: a couple health concerns (longstanding circulation issue in my right leg, and I recently noticed a conceivably-related swollen inguinal lymph node on the same side), a few outstanding debts, and the ever-present challenge of balancing work, family and personal time, but for the most part I feel like I am getting to a good place to be able take care of these things.
Current Mood: list-ish
Current Music: David Thomas Broughton - Ambiguity | Powered by Last.fm
20 January 2009 @ 06:28 pm
this weekend contained some party, some cuddle, a gallon of yellow paint, a bunch of great live music, a little bit of sexin' with a friend, some driving around and making/eating tasty delicious food with other friends, and then even more music/drinking/dancing.

then last night i made tasty delicious tikka masala with loads of veggies (and soba noodles because i had no rice), shared it with star, and then spent a couple hours hanging out with those beautiful kids at the poplar house.

brett (roommate #1) is leaving at the end of the month; his replacement will be tj (roommate-elect #3). this is not quite analogous to today's larger events, despite the fact that brett's destination is texas and his replacement is perfectly lovely (the main difference is that everybody loves brett and he will be missed).

tonight i may track a synth line on a song for go slowpoke's upcoming album, and will almost definitely drink mead at the honeymoon. other impending awesomeness includes participating in 'serial killers' at iDiOM theater, this time not as a member of one of the teams, but as one of the presenter-ish type people who do the (usually hilarious) recaps of the previous week's episodes. i am very excited about this. i also have some cunning plans music-wise, and a bit of a financial windfall around the corner. i am feeling pretty positive right now.
20 January 2009 @ 06:20 pm
16 January 2009 @ 09:37 pm
-called in sick (felt like crap when I woke up for some reason (wasn't drinking last night; asleep before 12:30))
-slept in and then cleaned the ever living fuck out of my bedroom (after handing my car key to e&a so they could go to the beach)
-basked in sun for a little bit (through the window, on my bed)
-prepped bedroom nook for painting (finally bought paint yesterday - benjamin moore - 'crowne hill yellow')
-did load of laundry (clean underwear and bed sheets For The Win!)
-let boss drag me out for an hour or two to facilitate six-digit check deposit (should make work a little less stressful for next few months)
-retrieved car, dropped e&a at pickford for slumdog millionaire (IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN IT CALL ME I HAVE IT ITS GOOD)
-crackers and hummus
-rehung en-suite bathroom door (finally)
-hung around the house with peter/anna/corey
-showered, got ready for party
-burned cds (mgmt - electric feel, girl talk - feed the animal)

Current Music: placebo - protege moi